A young man ate cold cereal at the kitchen island that barely fit into his basement apartment. Five bar stools from last night’s poker game remained arranged around the island. He stared at his bowl and rubbed his forehead, while a movie played on his phone in his lap, on mute.
A familiar face arrived in another bar stool, causing a light breeze. He said, “Good morning, Arthur.”
Arthur screamed. “Dag?”
The door at the top of a set of stairs opened a crack. “Artie, are you okay?”
“Yeah, Mom, yeah. It’s just Dag, uh –”
“Just a prank, Mrs. P.! He thought I went home already!” Dag giggled to himself.
“Do you want any pizza rolls?”
“Mom, it’s 7:30 in the morning. We’re fine. We just had a… we were up late playing video games.”
“I left you energy drinks in the fridge.” The light receded and the door clicked shut.
“Nice!” Dag jumped down and walked to the refrigerator in the corner. “I didn’t even know I was thirsty yet! This is really going so great for me, Artie.” He giggled again.
“Dag, wha… How did you sneak in here like that? Where were you last night?” They had met during training for the same security firm. Dag was known to skip a few work shifts in pursuit of the right party, but that was over four days ago this time. Arthur shook his head. He could not not remember the last time that Dag missed poker night. He found something very intoxicating this time. Or, someone.
His best friend chugged and grinned. “I took one of Meryl’s pills on Tuesday.”
Arthur sighed and put his phone away. “That guy is high at work every day. What did he sell you this time? Fortune cookies, again?”
“Yep, and check this out. The paper wrapper for mine said: The only thing holding you back is not believing in yourself.”
“I can quote, too: Nonsense to guide a friendly trip. That’s what Meryl is always muttering down the hallway, anyway.”
“Try this nonsense.”
Two very scantily clad aliens popped into the kitchen nook. They clutched at each other and turned to Arthur. A voice warbled in unison. “Friendly?”
Arthur exhaled a tiny squeal. “Dag, my mom is right upstairs.”
Dag pouted. “Ladies, I’ll be in touch.” He snapped his fingers and their visitors disappeared silently.
Arthur caught his breath. “Tentacles?”
“Some of them.”
Arthur threw his hands in the air and moved over to his couch. He glanced at the door that led outside. He debated which supposed friend had dosed him on their way out last night. He had gloated a little too much over his killer game-winning bluff, but this was just cruel.
Dag said, “My mentor called it chaos magic.”
Arthur turned back to the kitchen and was relieved that Dag was still alone. “Your mentor.”
Dag pointed towards the farthest stool, where a gray-haired man in a pale blue bathrobe appeared. He placed his mug down as he looked around flustered, but warmed into a smile when he saw Dag. The man rearranged the metal frame of his wide eyeglasses on the bridge of his nose, and said, “Oh! It’s just you again.” He tied his robe closed.
Arthur clamped a hand over his mouth before screaming, and sighed. “Dag.”
The man in his kitchen squinted into the living room area, and nodded with another warm smile. “You are sharing with a friend now. Is my advice working?”
“Dag,” said Arthur.
Dag crossed his arms. “For all I know, he is the one who gave me this power.”
“Shit on a stick, I am not. I just explained how these things tended to work, ah, when I used this idea in my books, y’h see. When he first came by Wednesday.” He drummed on the first available surface with his fingers. “During family dinner.”
Dag said, “To master and embrace chaos magic, is to understand that anything that I truly believe can be, will be.” Arthur turned as applause rang from the television sound system, still powered down.
“Close enough,” said their guest.
“You already know each other?” asked Arthur.
“‘Fraid so.” He lifted his mug and turned it upside down on the butcher block surface in front of him. “Can I go home soon? I just started the coffee pot, and I was about to go upstairs.”
“Yeah, sure.” Dag started nodding.
“Now, you boys are fun, but I already know what I want to write about today. Your secret is safe with me!”
Arthur made a face like a cat saving a smell for later, and raised a questioning finger of his own.
The man leaned forward to grab his mug and started, “Thank ye, I –” but he winked out before he could finish.
Arthur stood and approached the new mug in his kitchen, a brown color and an unusual curved shape like you would find in the back shelves of an antique store these days, dusty, barely looking like it survived the 1970s and 80s intact. He clutched the mug to his chest and turned to Dag. “Was that who I think that was?”
Dag shrugged, and made visible trails in the air inspecting his own hands. “I figured if anyone would understand what this is, it’s that guy. I want to be a hero!”
“What are you talking about?”
“Like, what if all the water in the world was fresh and clean to drink, Arthur! Lives would be saved!” Dag closed his eyes and cocked his head. “But, I guess anything in the ocean needs to also like fresh water. Done.”
“Dag.”
“No, it’s okay. The dolphins can speak now. They will let us know if there are any problems.”
Both of their phones began to ring with the emergency broadcast system tone.
“Dag.”
“What?” answered Dag.
“Did you ask Meryl what was in that? And, does he have any more?”
“He isn’t answering his phone. Oh, tingly!”
A woman dressed in pink leather with black spiky hair materialized in the middle of the room, and raised her arms in a shriek of triumph.
Dag said, “Hot.”
The door at the top of the stairs slammed open. “Arthur! Turn on the news! I’m going to the attic!”
Arthur hung his head over his lap. His phone had lost battery power and shut off. Their new guest spun in place and walked straight to Dag. ”Sup.”
“Hey,” said Dag.
She said, “Hey. Was all that crazy energy coming off of you just now?”
Dag said, “I hope so. Did Meryl sell you the same fortune as me? What a nice coincidence.”
“Yeah?”
“I’ve been meaning to do this with someone else. Sorry Artie, buddy, new plan! What’s your name, beautiful?”
“Morgan.” She laughed. “Where do you want to go first?”
He said, “Let’s go straight to the moon, baby.”
“Dag, wait a minute,” said Arthur. He had to shield his eyes briefly as they embraced in his living room, until the light blipped away with them.
He spent a few minutes debating with himself, unsure which government hotline would want to listen to a request to train telescopes on the brightest thing in the night sky. They would hopefully find two foolish people, dead of exposure and lack of oxygen on the moon’s surface.
Arthur turned on the TV to clear his head. He managed to forget about Dagomet for a moment.
The fighting that became known as the First War Between Land and Sea had already begun.
As the WritingPrompt Chaos Magic is the hardest form of magic to learn, but the easiest to master, all one needs is the abject belief that doing an action or ritual will create a magical effect provided some fun and very necessary distraction for me today, may your 2025 be less unprovoked chaos, thanks. And, keep the real kings close.