“… so anyway, it was that sort of day at the office.”
“I believe it. Hey, don’t forget to stir that.”
“Am I cooking, or are you?”
“Fine, I’ll feed the little monster, then.”
“No need, babe. I did that when I got home.”
“Cool. Hey, did you hear the new song released today by the – WHAT THA – ARE YOU OKAY?”
“YES!”
“Where did that come from? Hey, is the burner still on?”
“Are you insane? Something crashes through our ceiling and lands in the middle of the room, and you are worried about the sauce?”
“No, I’m worried about the meteorite or whatsit that looks like a freaking little spaceship. Are there little green guys in there? Hand me the whisk!”
“Here, you scramble them if they come out. But, if they are looking for intelligent life, I say good luck. I turned off the stove when the room exploded, since you asked.”
“You had to say that, it looks like a hatch is opening up! Should we call someone?”
“How should I kno – AIIGH! What is that? Is it alive? It’s hideous! AIIGH!”
“The f– Mister Mittens, no!”
“OHMYGOD!”
“I think I’m going to be sick. Good kitty, I guess? Do you think there are any more of those, uh, cat treats, in there?”
“Dude, this thing still has blinking lights on it. You tell me.”
“Do I call the police or the FBI?”
“Screw that. How do we start a podcast?”
Sabreclaw Graventail Fishmonger Aloysius the Magnificent, the Third, woke from his slumber as soon as the front door opened. He galloped forward, but the taller monkey closed the door too quickly again. How was he supposed to report to High Command? It had been weeks since the kitchen window had been last left open. He needed to check for updated orders. For now, at least, surely the Invasion Watch remained in effect. They might be ready to strike at any moment.
The taller monkey bent down and spoke for a while, unaware that Sabreclaw understood every word. It would be too embarrassing to try to explain their true interspecies relationship after all of these millenia anyway, so Sabreclaw accepted the associated pets and ear rubs. They could call him whatever they wished, too, as long as they lived a long and happy life. His present assignments were a kind couple, as blissfully ignorant of the true threat to this planet as any of their neighbors. The smaller monkey had already gifted him with scritches and his evening meal. It had been the dark brown gravy pellets, his favorite, not the light brown ones. Then… water from a tuna can! But, that was a time before now, for now they were both home. He cried a few times while encircling the taller monkey’s legs, seeking more. The enemy could arrive at any time! Don’t you see! More fuel will ensure that I can keep you safe, so that you may live to feed me tomorrow! Whatever.
Sabreclaw sauntered off in the first direction that came to mind. With the perimeter secure, it was time to prepare for battle, just in case. He licked as much fur as possible, focused on limbs, paws, and vital organs, transferring fish oil to where it might yet be needed. Generations ago, the clandestine and tireless work of Professor Fluffy Pantaloons had taken all of the evidence, everything the monkey archaeologists had right in front of them, the lovable goofs, and figured out the obvious conclusion. The enemy had once attacked the tetrahedrons in the desert, and they would surely do so again. Only fish oil would protect from the enemy’s unearthly slime.
A horrible rending and crashing sound sent Sabreclaw jumping for cover briefly, but the auditory pattern of failing ceiling debris and dust only confirmed what he learned from the vibrations repeating on the floor. Invasion was real, and in his domain. His monkeys were already hysterical and yelling. He flattened his body on the floor and approached the kitchen softly, remaining in shadow.
On the opposite side of the center island, his worst fear had been realized. A Xorjaxeldexalian scout ship, front sensor and communications array thankfully obliterated by the crash, was leaning off-kilter in the floor. In his kitchen. One engine still fired wildly, the source of the vibrations, scorching kitchen tiles, until that too flamed out with an underwhelming puff of smoke. These are his intelligent and mighty adversaries? Whatever.
But, wait. This aggression can not stand. Sabreclaw silently calculated his available attack vectors, before the situation suddenly worsened. The ship was opening! The skin on his back roiled as one of the foul beasts exited, stinking up the place.
The monkey that provided the best, most consistently steady, nighttime sleep surface screamed in horror for a second time, and Sabreclaw could not blame her. Barely chest-high to His Magnificence, the scourge of his people was a thin and black abomination that resembled a ridiculously tiny hound dog, if you had run it through a pasta maker. It stumbled around, clearly injured from the crash. Opportunity was knocking. Instinct took over.
The hunt was brief, and frankly, boring. He made a mental note that Xorjaxeldexalians were tasting a little higher in potassium. And, strontium? As he washed and prepped for the inevitable second wave of tonight’s attack, and as the monkeys poked at the now derelict ship with kitchen utensils, Sabreclaw hoped they would open a window soon. His commanding officers and comrades in arms needed to know what had just transpired, and he was prepared to sing about tonight from every available neighborhood fence, if it came to that or not.
From the nicely open-ended and yet “contrained writing” prompt [WP] Write the same story or scene twice, once with only dialogue and once with zero dialogue.